Allan Jordan | Student Leader 19 | Mass Comm | Undefined In Love | PLMun | Busy
He's friendly yet moody and enraged. Your future Media personnel who wants to be a broadcaster-slash-writer. Consider him as one of the shitty whatever you may call. He'll post about what does he feel as of the moment. Enjoy reading! This blog URL, kallandian | Tumblr was once deactivated and he'll never do the same shit twice. This blog consists of melodramatic posts and a sad melody.
I feel so toxic every now and then, so I need to waste my time by reading books and be inactive online. Done reading Para kay B and I feel whatever. Yeah, the story is really good but it is more of a roller coaster of events. Katas II and talaKATASan makes me fall in love with letters and literaries because it is so amazing on how does every word and grammar are formed by time and by emotions of every writer. By the way, the first literary folio (KATAS: Ang muling pagtatalik ng panahon) is a combination of short stories, poems, photographs and quotes, to the tune of love in every aspect (Politics, LGBT and slice of life basis) while the other is more of a pure prose type, some sort of diary type. Woop.
There’s that word again. Need. I need you. I need you to need me. How nauseating, to need another human being, as if their heart is in your throat. Love isn’t about need. Don’t romanticize the notion of desperation. Let me let you in on a secret: you don’t need me and I don’t need you. We can get through life just fine without each other. Love is not wanting to. We want each other, we want skin and hands and all our daily scars. We want intoxication and art museums and intertwined limbs. We want ferocity in our lips and tracing slow, small circles on our stomachs. I don’t need you in my life, but goddamn I want you in it.
— All the Want in the World Cannot Fit in Our Hands (via mediwriter)
You got me caught in all this mess. I guess we can blame it on the rain. My pain is knowing I can't have you. I can't have you. Tell me. Does he/she look at you the way I do? Try to understand the words you say and the way you move? Does he/she get the same big rush when you go in for a hug and your cheeks brush? Tell me, am I crazy? or this is more than a crush.
Bakit mo inilalayo ang sarili mo sa tao? Dahil… Dahil ayoko ilapit ang damdamin ko sa kanila!
Bakit? E ano bang pakialam mo?!
May pakialam ako sapagkat… Sapagkat malapit ka sa akin. Kaibigan kita. Ganito lang ‘yan, mas mabuting kaunti lang ang may alam kung paano ako masaktan, mga agam-agam na walang basehan at ibang bagay na nagbibigay ng negatibong pagtingin sa mundo. Ay mali, mas mabuting walang makaalam para hindi nila pakialaman ang mga ideyolohiya ko sa buhay.
Ano na naman ba ‘yang katarantaduhan mo?
Katarantaduhan bang matatawag kung natuto ka lang din naman sa taong mga nakapaligid sa iyo na hindi lahat, pwede mong kausapin, pagkatiwalaan at alagaan?
O kita mo na. Tignan mo nga, sa dinami-dami ng nakikipag-usap sa’yo, ilan dyan ang totoo sa hindi? Ilan dyan ang hindi ka iiwanan? Ilan dyan ang sasabihing pwede mo ako lapitan sa oras ng iyong kagipitan o pangangailangan? Hindi lahat ‘yan, iilan lang. Iilan lang, kung minsan nga, bilang pa sa kamay.
Pero, di mo naman pwedeng sabihin na lahat sila ay nabibilang sa isang kategorya. Wag mo isara ang iyong pintuan.
Tama na na kaunti lang ang makilala ko dahil hindi ko maatim na magpakitang tao sa kanila para magustuhan nila ako! Mga pakikipaglastikan, lalapitan lang pag may kailangan at mga iiwanan. Aysus, sawang-sawa na ako sa sistemang ‘yan. Ano pa ba? Mga pangakong paglulumain ng panahon at kakalawangin. Tama na, dahil sirang-sira na ang pagtingin ko sa lahat.
ii.) we are lowercase letters. we are calm and easy. we try to not shout and pursue to hide ourselves. we do not want attention. we blend like the other five vowels in the alphabet. the consonants are our loyal companions.
iii.) we might not have a grand entrance like the uppercases but our whispers can bring snow storms, create hurricanes with simple touches.
iv.) we are useless when quarreling to your partner at 7 in the morning, when you woke up at the wrong side of the bed, yelling at him to wake up and work his ass out so you’ll have something to pay the bills but you’ll turn back to us anyway, probably at midnight when you write to your love a poem on a table napkin saying your sorry for what happened in the morning.
v.) we may not start the salutations on conversations or the first word that starts the written adventures on your journals, but we always end them. we are the glue, the bindings, and the stitches.
why are almost all teenage novels being transformed into movies??????? i mean there’s a whole lot of novels out there and i think only one out of a hundred can be transformed into a film because of the many limitations a film has. i don’t know but these producers and these people ugh i dont think they know why novels are novels and films are films and why these two forms of literature are different and why the two cannot always be equally beautiful and achievable. ugh.
Because there are some producers who are for money and not for the art. Since, the book is a blockbuster hit, then, they’ll think, it’ll be also hit in the silver screen. IDK.
Inabandona natin ang isa’t-isa kung kaya’t wag nating sisihin ang magkabilang panig kung bat natin nararamdaman ang pagkawala ng presensya ko at ang presensya mo. Oo nga naman, nasan tayong dalawa nung kinailangan natin ang isa’t-isa? Ayun. Pareho tayong abala sa binubuo nating alaala, mga bagay na gusto natin munang pagtuunan ng pansin dahil may hinahabol tayong pagkakataon. Pero mali pa rin, kasi parang pinaramdam ko sa’yo na pinabayaan kita at ganun ka din sa akin. Ang hirap lang, dahil masyado mong dinadamdam.
Gusto ko ulit iugnay ang sarili ko patungo sa dinaraanan mo, kaya lang, nakakatakot ding isipin na baka dumating tayo sa punto na magkasumbatan tayo at manlamig na ang iyong trato.